Know that I do not abdicate my power easily. Losing control of my life, of my love, of myself, is my fear. Being in charge is something I do well and readily. I pride myself on my competence and my confidence.
Look in my eyes and tell me that you understand all of that.
Tell me, too, that you understand my craving to hand that control over to you. Touch my face, and see in my eyes what I want you to know — that the greatest aphrodisiac for me is trust. To completely free myself, react spontaneously, respond with honesty, I need to know that you will be there to catch me when I fall. When your fingers — probing me, demanding my climax — make me combust, I must believe that your strength will ground me. When I erupt, when I scream, when I begin to float away, you will hold tight and keep me here, with you.
Your power over my mind and your control of my body are all about the calm in the midst of the storm, the calm that I see in your eyes, that I hear in your words; it is your calm that allows me to surrender all semblance and pretense of calm in myself.
I love that – the greatest aphrodisiac is trust. Very liberating. Liberating, of course to be fully that essential self that is released under such conditions. I do hope you discover the one who will turn that key for you; I would love to be there to see that door opened…
As always, Marianne, a delicious post.
By: Larkin on February 18, 2008
at 10:55 pm
Trust is very precious… and easily broken… I know from experience. Once broken it is the worst kind of test to put yourself through to rebuild.
Being strong enough to give yourself over involves enormous trust and seeing that amount of trust between two people is empowering liberating and so fucking hot! I love to see a couple who trust so deeply stare into each others eyes just before or after a scene. There truly is nothing like the way they cherish and desire one another.
Grin.
When you give yourself to someone and not hold one ounce back, you are capable of capturing the sun, the moon, and all the stars.
Lacy.
By: Lacy on February 18, 2008
at 11:07 pm
Ooooh..that was so beautiful, Marianne. I felt it. Thanks.
By: gillette on February 19, 2008
at 5:31 pm
Larkin, I think the quest to find that key-holder is the most exciting adventure I can imagine. The real question for me is… if I find him, will he know it? Will I?
Lacy — I don’t know if it takes strength or incredible naivete (stupidity?) to trust that much. Nevertheless, being vulnerable is the sexiest thing… and maybe the possibility of enjoying what comes with that level of trust is worth the risk of being hurt when the trust isn’t justified.
Gillette — Thank you, honey. You always get it.
By: Marianne on February 19, 2008
at 10:21 pm