Imagine it… one hotel room, three sex bloggers, three giant egos, all the words in the world, and many wild past experiences… all converging. The potential for disaster is great.

Consider, for example, the question of sexy lingerie. Two female sex bloggers will not be showing up for a rendezvous without proper accoutrements. Both will wear stockings, heels (one pair strappy, one pair boots), and shapely corsets with much lace and many, many hooks. Now, imagine what happens when their bodies first touch, and meld… the moment is perfect… the first kiss…. tongues begin to intertwine while the third, a male sex blogger, looks on with lust in his eyes and drool on his lips… and then the hooks of one become hopelessly tangled in the lace of the other. We should have known! Always coordinate in advance who wears the corset! The fact that the lace-bearing blogger also wore fishnets and finally had to tear them off in order for the de rigueur sexy toe ring to stop getting caught and also ripping off her toe… well, that’s just a side issue. The nice thing about two women in full gear being present though, is that, while the boot-wearing blogger gets fucked by the lucky man, the other lady can check out the discarded boots, and ask what size they are, for possible sharing purposes (to which the reply was “Ungh”, I believe).

Other fun things are said when the threesome are friends and fellow sexaholics. Upon being told that I suck cock well, I paused, pulled off, looked up at him, and responded, “Well, yes, it’s in the sex blogger contract, you know”, then went back to my quality fellatio.

There was never a need to ask what someone was thinking about if one of the three suddenly looked off into space in an apparently distracted way… clearly, a blog post was being imagined. And the discussion in the cafe the next day of making a list of possible topics and dividing them up must have been interesting to anyone overhearing from a neighbouring table.

“I’d like to write about silly things that we said and did.”

“All right. Don’t forget to mention that lubing your lover up with mint-flavoured lube before having another woman go down on her doesn’t lend well to potential comments about the sweet but musky taste of her pussy. And what if the taster is asked by the tastee’s other lover to describe the taste? What is she to say? Minty-fresh?”.

“And what do I get to write about?”

“Well, you can always explain the difference between chuckable and bouncy.”

Which is, as you may have guessed, his very profound, intellectual description of the main difference between his two women. Men really are so deep.

Other things about fucking other sex bloggers:

- no one ever tells you to be more quiet; everyone understands the importance of being expressive — if no one is screaming, or groaning loudly, or yelling ‘yes, yes, yes’ every few minutes, then no one is having fun, right? And yes, perhaps shouting out “Please!” is a bit of a giveaway that one of the participants is Canadian.

- no one worries about being a drama queen… at least two-thirds of you clearly are (and no, not the two women).

- at least one of the three is bound to announce every single approaching orgasm, as if it were news of great import to the world — well, obviously… you all read about my orgasms… they must be fascinating, right?

- the sheets will be stained… with wine (really, only sex bloggers would think that toasting each other in bed would be a good idea — it sounds good in principle, right?), with squirting orgasms (every female sex blogger squirts, right?), and blood (again, in principle, caning sounds great, but breaking the skin on the first hit should be avoided). If the bed isn’t a disaster area, what’s the point? The bedding and the trash receptable should always give the chambermaids something to giggle about.

- would anyone but a sex blogger think of tying a man’s wrists with pink bondage tape, using the same to gag him (ineffective… he still couldn’t stop verbally gloating), tying a last bit around his engorged cock, then taking pictures from every angle?

- only someone planning to blog the experience would consider the aesthetics of standing on the bed to flog a man more important than the practical likelihood of falling off and breaking a limb or two. And of course, there’s the beauteous moment when ‘chuckable’ says to ‘bouncy’, “No. You have to hit him like this.”

Oh, and we ran out of water! Really! I know! Sex-Blogger 101, right? Always have enough water on hand! You’d almost think we didn’t spend a disproportionate amount of time reading the do’s and don’t’s of sexual encounters of the kinky kind.

It really is a good thing that the quality and the quantity of the laughter far outweighed the eventual dehydration headaches.