Your presence in my thoughts is no longer convenient, or even desirable.
Desirable… do you remember when we couldn’t get enough of each other? Do you? When the day wasn’t long enough to contain our words, and our words not big enough to describe our love?
I rarely think about it. Or about you.
That need, that rush of head-spinning lust… gone.
You were replaced (in my heart, in my schedule, in my bed) oh so easily. The one who replaced you, the first one, was more than your match. The one after, even better.
I almost never think about that time, that time, you know the one. I can’t remember the words you said. I can’t remember your voice, your touch.
The gaping void you left — it’s filled.
Everyone was right. I am, indeed, better off without you.
You left.
You’re no longer part of my daily routine. You’re no longer in my address book, or on my contact list.
Your pictures and your missives are tucked away well beyond easy retrieval.
My friends stopped mentioning you forever ago.
So, I’m asking nicely. Vacate the premises. Thoughts of you are no longer welcome here.
Good luck and goodbye.



ah, ghosts…. they can be so hard to exorcize…
By: oatmeal girl on April 20, 2008
at 11:24 pm
I just discovered your blog and I’m absolutely in love with the way you write. This was particularly good and reminded me of that Alain Chartier poem, “I turn you out of doors tenant desire…”
That strange time between “I can’t ever have enough of you” and “what the hell was I thinking?” is perplexing — before I gather up my mental belongings and move forward I’m always left feeling a little angry at love’s inexorability.
By: Lakey on April 21, 2008
at 8:53 am
Yes, that “What the hell was I thinking” thing just kills me. Beautifully written, Marianne.
By: Stratocast on April 21, 2008
at 12:52 pm
Phew…powerful piece, Marianne. Thanks for this…
They do come back unbidden, these people from our past, yes? Even when we think, know their presence is no longer wanted, there they are. Mind, MonkeyMind.
By: gillette on April 21, 2008
at 1:06 pm
I loved this. Well Done! x
By: havingmycake on April 21, 2008
at 1:20 pm
That touched me … it brought back far too many memories. Beautiful, evocative writing …
By: Ro on April 21, 2008
at 3:14 pm
You have to have the past to appreciate the future. You have to have the bad to appreciate the good. Sometimes sex just muddles those things up. Stupid men.
XX
By: A. Secret on April 21, 2008
at 6:02 pm
I hate that time between the conscious mind letting go, and the unconscious stupidly, irrationally, clinging on.
By: Z on April 21, 2008
at 10:58 pm
I loved this.
By: Inconnu on April 21, 2008
at 11:43 pm
OG, I don’t really mind ghosts if they keep politely in the background.
Lakey… Welcome… I’ve now gone visiting at your place, and am most definitely enamoured as well.
Stratocast — Thank you, you sweet thing.
Gillette — Ah yes… you’re so right. It’s the monkey mind thing, isn’t it? Perhaps I should meditate the memories away.
Cake — Thanks, honey!
Ro — What a lovely comment. I hope the memories weren’t too painful.
Ms. Secret — A very practical point of view. And I am indeed appreciating some very good things right now.
Z — Is that what it is? I guess we can’t expect the subconscious to know what’s best for us. Can we?
Inconnu — I’m glad. Very.
By: Marianne on April 22, 2008
at 8:52 am
Wow. What can I say? Very well put, very well indeed. Didn’t that feel good?
By: Akrazael on April 23, 2008
at 6:15 pm
It did feel kind of good. Although two different people who had nothing to do with this piece thought they might be the one I was describing. Awkward.
By: Marianne on April 24, 2008
at 8:21 pm
…okay, this is the hippie chick in me – i am, afterall, a hippie chick at heart – but have you done a banishing ritual in your house? … something to consider.
By: Catalina Ramirez on April 27, 2008
at 8:24 am
Everyone likes a hippie chick, Catalina.
Tell me more about this banishing ritual. Perhaps that would be a very good idea.
By: Marianne on April 27, 2008
at 10:26 am